Snore Guard Patented and FDA approved
by Nekon
Summary: Snoring sucks


Snore Guard  
Patented and FDA approved.

"GRRNNXXX."

Sam twitched.

"GRRNNXXX." This time it was followed by a smacking noise.

Ever so slowly, Sam turned his head. In the bed next to him lay Dean, twisted partly to the side. Just enough for Sam to see his great gapping mouth, which was currently the object of Sam homicidal thoughts.

Now, admittedly Dean had every right to be in an exhausted slumber. They had spent a good 5 hours fighting off hordes of Brownies on crack. Obnoxious little buggers those were. Brownies were normally pretty harmless, inhabiting houses and aiding in tasks around the house. But this group went radically off the deep end, taking to dropping knives on unsuspecting individuals and enacting cruel pranks. When a three year old almost suffocated after being locked in a cupboard, the brothers decided the little buggers needed to be dealt with. While they weren't able to seriously injure either Sam or Dean, it had certainly put a dent in their moods.

Though Sam had to admit it was all worth it to see the look on Dean's face when four Brownies had banded together to pants him. Sam'd take that to the grave.

Another snore ripped through the air and Sam clenched his jaw. Sleep was already something he rarely succeeded in obtaining without hearing a mini lawn mover rip besides him at obnoxiously regular intervals.

Reaching above his head, he grabbed a spare pillow and flung it towards his brother, landing a direct hit on Dean's face. There was a pause where Sam wondered in he had succeeded in stopping his brother, and Dean shifted slightly, one hand brushing over his face to knock off whatever had disturbed him. And for one long seconds, the bliss of silence.

Than Dean reached down, readjusted himself and let out another snore, this one even more grating on Sam's nerves than before.

Sam sat up, twisted, and rhythmically banged his head against the wall.

"Sam?" a sleepy voice broke through his self-abuse.

Turning, Sam found heavy lidded eyes aimed in his direction, one eyebrow raised inquiry. Uncertain how to explain, his mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he simply gave up and shook his head.

"Well, if your not going to say anything, stop making noise. It's keeping me awake." Dean grumbled, before tucking his head back against the pillow and dropping off.

Sam's eyes narrowed. Keeping Dean awake was he. Isn't that… interesting.

"GRRNNNXXXXXXXXXXXXX."

Brain silently imploding, Sam climbed to his feet and went to his bag. Taking a couple of seconds to dig through it, he finally found what he was looking for. Holding up a permanent marker he turned and looked at Dean, a slow maniacal smile creeping over his face.

"He he he."

Dean stretched, cracking his back. God, he'd had a good night sleep. Those damned Brownies had really gone to work on him and Sam and he had all but fallen into bed last night.

Glancing over at the other bed, he found Sam just stirring, blinking blearily. There were dark circles under his eyes and his skin looked unnaturally pale. Even his hair fell limply over his forehead. A large yawn cracked Sam's face and slowly the younger boy turned to him.

"Good mo--." Dean blinked as Sam suddenly cut himself off, looking at him with wide eyes.

"Holy crap, I didn't." Sam gasped.

"What?" Dean asked.

Sam just silently gasped at him.

"Dude, what? What didn't, or did you do?" Dean asked impatiently.

An explosive sound erupted from Sam's mouth and it took Dean a couple of alarming seconds to realize it was laughter. What the hell?

Sam snickered suspiciously and Dean stared at him. Glancing down, he made sure he was presentable. Yep, his pants were there, his zipper up. Nothing unusual stained his clothes. So why was Sam unable to stop laughing at him. Looking idly over to the mirror he froze and stared.

And stared.

And stared.

Staring back at him was his face, but not as he had seen in last night. His eyebrows were thicker and connected in the middle. There were pretty little flowers and hearts adorning his checks and a long hooked mustache above his lips. A tiny upside-down triangle adorned his chin and written in big bold letters across his forehead was: SNORE MONSTER. Almost robotically reaching up, he rubbed a hand idly across one check. The ink didn't move in the slightest. Permanent ink…

A snarl started deep in his throat.

Sam, sensing impending doom, snatched the keys dangling limply in Dean's right and made a beeline for the door. The slam as Sam closed it behind him shook Dean out of his shocked paralysis. He took one more long look at his face and watched in the mirror as his raccoon eyes narrowed, jaw twitching. Laughter echoing from outside was not helping the rage building in his chest.

"SAAAMMMMM! I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS BITCH!"

Launching himself out the door, Dean bore down on his little brother. Sam was at the impala, hands desperately trying to insert keys into a suddenly tiny keyhole. It didn't help that the hysterical laughter that had overtaken him was making his hands shake. The key finally slipped in and he yanked the door open so quickly he almost bashed himself in the face.

Glancing over his shoulder he found Dean a mere 5 steps away. Adrenaline surging though his system, Sam flung himself in the car, locking the doors as the same time that Dean launched himself at Sam. Dean's hand his the door handle in the same moment that Sam brought his hand down on the lock.

Tugging frantically, a guttural growl emitted from Dean as he was unable to get into the car. He finally bent down so that he was eye level with Sam and glowered.

Sam stared for a couple of seconds, before breaking into hysterical laughter again.

"Oh god Dean, you look so funny! That look… with the ink… haha, the mustache is perfect!" Sam was almost lightheaded.

Dean could feel his nails digging into his palm. Very very slowly he leaned back and crossed his arms.

Oh, he was so going to get Sam. When his obnoxious, annoying little brother was least expecting it, he was going to get him.

Oh yes, revenge would be sweet.


End file.
